Sometimes I wonder if I am more sensitive than I should be.
Perhaps my fixation on the wrongs done unto others, and unto me, would be less prominent if I were able to build genuinely thick walls around myself and prevent the intensity of emotion that I feel on a daily basis from getting it’s claws into me.
What would life be like if I were able to look past the suffering of others? What would my perspective on the world be like if I were able to let some things slide, rather than try to find reason and rationality in wrongdoings?
Would my heart be broken less?
Would I sleep better at night?
Or would the removal of this so-called weak spot keep me from expression, from connection, from creative passion?
May echo inside my head
But I remain calm.
Don’t search for our heart;
They wait for it to open
And bathe it in light.
I had to love him
In a quiet way- with you,
I’m allowed to shout.
I feel my heart lift and shake
(When I picture your face)
And I imagine it dancing inside my chest.
Captivated by the sensation
I hold onto it tightly,
Wrapping myself in your ecstasy.
I’ve began to heal myself, detoxing my body in rays of brilliant sunlight.
They say UV will kill anything.
I hope they’re right.
I spend my dream-life picturing myself without the crack-
the tiny fragment behind my eyes
- as I slip into your arms.
Whole. Complete. Unbroken.
Sometimes we need to
Open our deepest wounds
To let the air in.
What It Costs
A common question I get about what I do whether it’s the making and selling of art, or the planning and realizing of international remote adventures is “What Does it Cost”?
The question assumes I can answer like a travel agent, accountant, or gallery owner, each of which I am not.
"What does it cost" is a personal investment question. We inquire because we wonder if we HAVE what it COSTS to acquire what we find desirable. "What does it cost?" asks the question- how can I get that?
But asking a dreamer “what does it cost” is like asking a mother “how much do you love your child?”.
They LOVE with what they HAVE. To follow dreams, the same is true. It COSTS what you HAVE.
Yet… “What it costs” cannot simply be defined in dollars and cents.
The costs are not analyzed in well gridded spread sheets, or displayed in logically organized receipts neatly arranged in small manila envelopes with the red string closure.
What does it cost [to follow dreams]?
It costs long nights at your desk alone, with doubt creeping in the shadows.
It costs awkward conversations about our worst ideas just to get it out.
It costs time. Heartache.
It costs money, yes, it’s true. Lots of it- money hard earned and quickly burned.
It can cost a relationship.
It costs patience. Failure.
Following my dreams has cost me many nights of sleep, sacrificed to a staring contest with the ceiling.
It costs weight loss. Weight gain. Muscle loss, Muscle gain.
Confidence loss, confidence gain.Sadness. Joy.
It costs risk, over and over, with the stakes growing higher and higher.
It costs time with my wife. My children. Myself.
It costs constant effort and belief.
It costs adaptation. Rejection.
It costs skin, sweat, and blood.
It costs starting.
It costs STARTING OVER.
It costs years and years and miles and miles.
It’s cost me 9 vehicles in 20 years.
It costs honesty with others.With myself.
It costs minutes, and days, and a lifetime.
So, what does it cost to follow your dreams?
It costs everything you have.
Our adventures, our passions
Propel us forward.
Planes rise and balance
Bringing strangers to new lands
And forming our bonds
"Qué va, cold. I am on fire."
"I, too. But afterwards thou wilt not be cold?"
"No. Afterwards we will be as one animal of the forest and be so close that neither one can tell that one of us is one and not the other. Can you not feel my heart be your heart?"